Learning to SLOW down...

My good friend Clare joked at the end of January that it took a blizzard to get me to slow down and take care of myself. I laughed because it was funny; it was also true.

I was caught in Portland, Oregon, by snow and rain storms hitting the West Coast at all elevations, on every highway between me and my next destination--San Francisco International Airport. I was jet lagged, having just gotten back to American soil from three weeks in Thailand, and needing to make my next flight--this time to Dublin, Ireland, for another three week stay. Not sleeping, being potentially sick and without the energy to drive five hours, put on chains in the heavy falling snow, and get over the first mammoth of a mountain pass to my Yreka home was just something that was not going to happen.

So, I postponed my flight, waited for the weather to clear, and when I hit the Siskiyou Pass four days later, the road was bone dry.

My new flight time three days away, my dad and I watched the weather and timed the break in the storm again. My drive from Yreka to Santa Cruz (where I would leave my car, Grace, and all my personal belongings during my holiday) was clear. The only startle I had on the drive was light rain through the Bay Area, where part of the road was a bit slick and I got an idea of how quickly I could potentially lose control of my beautiful blue car. All was fine though and my flight to Ireland was fortunately rather empty, allowing me a whole row to myself to sleep.

Fast-forward through the most amazing holiday I've ever had in beautiful seaside towns and it brings me to this weekend when, after I've arrived safely back to the US of A, I am making my next journey--moving to Los Angeles.

Jet-lagged again. Sleepy again. Impatient to get where I need to be--again. And I still haven't made it to LA.

Rewind. My second year of university at UC Santa Cruz was a crazy, stressful year. It was a year filled with some of the most amazing projects and people I have been blessed to encounter. It also was the year I dealt with the most health problems--waking up with stomach aches every morning, heart burn, signs of a pancreatic infection, head colds, a bum wrist. All of it culminated the last week of the school year and the first week of summer when I found out I had mono, and was laid up for the next two months recovering.

My mom and family and good friends took great care of me that summer, making sure I would be strong enough and healthy enough to make it for my next big adventure: studying abroad in Galway, Ireland.

I did make it and to say that I had a wonderful time would be a gross understatement. Coupled with my experiences abroad, the I'm-in-another-country/continent/culture-and-all-that-entails bit, was me learning how to listen--and take care of--my body. I began to the symptoms my body produced when it was too stressed and how to step back and relax. I put distance between me and the intense focus I had been giving my schoolwork, benefiting all of my endeavors.

See what I learned from that second year and that following summer was that I needed to slow down a bit, take things easier and be aware of where and how much of my energy was being given. How to put a little sass back into my life again.

But as I find myself having to remind myself to relax, take it easy, enjoy the extra time given me in the wonderful beautiful place that is Santa Cruz, I keep asking what is it exactly that am I slowing down from? There are no obligations I have to attend to. I've only got plans to fulfill and really, I've already done most of the back work and am just waiting anyway.

My good friend Julia said to me the other day that maybe the universe is telling me I'm needing to slow down and understand that everything unfolds as it needs to, or something along those lines. And I do agree with that idea; you can't force something or make something happen until it's gonna happen. But at what point does the car stall when you've done all your down-shifting and laying off the gas?