For Wednesday - Crazy People

Going to college in Santa Cruz prepares you for your share of crazy people. In general, people who may or may not have a mental illness; who may or may not be homeless; who may or may not have issues with body odor, verbal control, or twitching. Not that Santa Cruz is a mecca of crazies, just that Santa Cruz is Weird--as Bookshop would have us keep it that way--and it's part of the atmosphere. The edge of craziness, if you like.

In London, I'm just not prepared for crazy. Craziness feels completely out of context here. It's prim, proper, cups of tea, orderly queues, and standard Tube behaviour. The vibe of London doesn't appear to allow for crazy people in the way that Santa Cruz welcomes them.

I think this is why I get so distraught riding the bus going to university. I have the expectation that London is not a crazy city. Therefore, there should be no crazy people on my bus. There's not supposed to be a man who sniggers jabbing statements at random people on the pavement when he alights at his stop. There's not supposed to be a woman who walks with her palms up, open to the energy, chanting under her breath in a post borough of London. The scuffy, ex-biker guy with an odor problem does not wear a gold band of diamonds on his ring finger. And the last he didn't even act crazy!

No, I'm just not prepared for crazy in London. But I think I need to work on that.

Sadness

Today I really wanted to write about handkerchiefs: hankies, snot rags, bandannas. More importantly, I wanted to post pictures of my handkerchiefs, photos I've been taking over the past few days specifically to post on Monday. ('Don't post about handkerchiefs this weekend, wait until Monday. It'll be much better on Monday.')

Sadly, I can't seem to get over the life shock of not finding the camera with two of the pictures on it to upload them onto my computer and then to this site.

I guess handkerchief reveling will have to wait until Tuesday.

May 7 & May 8

It is time to start a new. Life shock. Life shock. I want to pursue something true. I want my talents to be utilized, appreciated. Life shock. I want to love what I do. I won't love it all the time, but when I absolutely loath whatever it is I'm doing, I want there to be some part of why I'm sticking around. Cause I know that when I really want something, I will stay. I will make it through that day, conversation, interaction. Life shock. I will get there. Where? Here. In me. Life shock. Breathe. There is time. There is no rush. Breathe. Today. Right now. Here. In love.